Lesbian couple reveal shared motherhood joy: Were pregnant with each others baby - exclu

Publish date: 2024-06-07

Partners Emily and Kerry are due within eight weeks of each other – read their story

When we speak to couple Emily and Kerry, they are 29 weeks and 21 weeks pregnant respectively, and over the moon after their gender reveal party.

The mums-to-be, who are carrying each other’s baby following IVF treatment, are due within eight weeks of each other and have just discovered they are both expecting boys.

Emily, 38, and Kerry, 35, are documenting their shared motherhood journey on their joint Instagram page @twomumstwobuns. Emily is due on 4 January 2024 and Kerry’s due date is 29 February.

The couple have had very different pregnancies so far: Emily has had a tough time with morning sickness, dizzy spells, carpal tunnel and low iron levels, while Kerry tells us she has felt great with no health issues at all.

Emily reveals: “We were absolutely gobsmacked when we found out we are having two boys. I come from a family of mostly girls. We both predicted one of each gender or two girls, so two boys were the last thing we expected.

“We were shocked, overwhelmed & ecstatic all at the same time, but we could not be any more excited for life and adventures with our not one, but two boys!”

Congratulations on your pregnancies Kerry and Emily! Tell us how you first met…

Kerry: We met six years ago on Tinder when I was 29 and Emily was 32. I was travelling in New Zealand and Emily was living there at the time. We kept talking and FaceTiming when I got back, then Emily moved home, and we met up in London – the rest is history.

Emily: We moved in together about a year and a half later.

During lockdown, we started thinking about having children. One of Kerry’s friends had done IVF and we had time to research it all. We found a company called ABC IVF which had good rates and I was still just within the age range of qualifying for the treatment, so we decided to go for it.

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How did it come about that you decided to be pregnant at the same time?

Emily: We thought, ‘Why don’t we just do it at the same time?’ We didn’t want to go through having a newborn and the sleepless nights then have to do it all again.

It didn’t particularly go down well with anyone we suggested it to, even the IVF people. They said, ‘What if you both have twins? What if you go into labour at the same time?’ We said we’d deal with it.

Our situation is very rare, but I’ve heard of a couple of Australian ladies who got pregnant at the same time, although they carried their own babies. I haven’t heard of any of the women being pregnant at the same time and carrying each other’s.

Tell us why you decided to carry each other’s babies…

Kerry: For both of us, there’s no biological connection to the other person’s child because we have a [sperm] donor, so we felt if we could be the gestational parent to each other’s baby then we’ve got that connection with them – it’s not blood but it’s a different kind of connection. That was why we wanted to do it, to feel that connection in that way.

Emily: I thought that I would be really aware I’m carrying a baby that’s not mine, but I’m not, and that’s a really nice thing. It feels like our baby.

You went through a sperm donor agency – what was the process like?

Emily: It was so stressful! If you think about building a baby in your head… you want it to look like you and you want it to have certain features, so it resembles you or the other person. We’re quite lucky because myself and Kerry look fairly similar.

Kerry: We spoke to some friends who are a same sex couple who’ve had IVF and we asked them what we should look for. They said to us, ‘Focus on health.’ We were like, ‘Yep, of course, that’s a really sensible thing to focus on’, so we picked someone who was really healthy.

Emily: We both used the same sperm donor. For us that was really important, so our children are related. The process was a lot longer than we thought it would be and it’s been a learning experience.

Kerry: I’m quite geeky so I found all the science behind it really interesting. It’s cliché but it genuinely is a rollercoaster.

Did you both have IVF at the same time?

Kerry: You have to have tests to get the all-clear on your womb, which I had. Emily had polyps and a cyst which she had to have treated first. That’s the first stage, then you have your egg collection followed by the fertilisation stage.

Emily: We had our egg collection done within a month of each other. I had my first transfer two weeks after Kerry’s, but Kerry’s first try didn’t work. I got pregnant the first time and Kerry got pregnant after the second attempt, which was six weeks after I found out I was expecting.

What was it like when you found out Emily was pregnant?

Kerry: On the actual day I think it hit me a bit harder because I was healthy and had a clear womb, so I think deep in the back of my mind I wondered why it didn’t work. I was trying to be realistic though.

Emily: She started blaming it on my embryos!

Kerry: We were OK but that first day we were a bit like, ‘Oh’. We didn’t expect it not to work; we were just hoping it would.

Emily: I had been so sure I wasn’t expecting because Kerry wasn’t pregnant, so it was a surprise.

Kerry: We’re on Instagram and the IVF community on there is incredible. You see so many people having numerous transfers and it never working, so we had to put things into perspective – it was only our first try.

Then Kerry fell pregnant too… how did you both feel?

Emily: We cried both times, didn’t we? I think through the whole process we were so nervous, so even when we had two positive results, we didn’t let ourselves get too excited and were quite cautious.

Our parents were already going out buying prams and cots! We were like, ‘Chill out, we’ll see what happens.’

How have your family and friends reacted to your news?

Kerry: When we first told everyone that we were thinking about having babies at the same time, they were like, ‘Ooh not sure… who’s going to pick up the dog poo? Who’s going to wash up?'

Now, everyone couldn't be more excited for us, our parents’ friends, everyone. They’re like, ‘It’s such an amazing way to do it’.

Emily: They say, ‘You get to have maternity leave together and have this time to bond with the children together.’ Not once have they turned around now and said, ‘Who’s going to pick up the dog poo?’

Kelly: They’re ready to help because they know that the eight weeks in between Emily giving birth and me being heavily pregnant is probably going to be a bit tricky, but they’re all up for it and ready.

How are you feeling about the births?

Kerry: I did a hypnobirthing class the other day but it’s probably best not to overthink it.

Emily: Yeah, I’m trying not to think about it too much – it freaks me out. People will ask if I want to hear a positive birth story and I’m like, ‘No!’

Kerry: But I like hearing people’s stories and how they set up their birth room.

Emily: I’m all about having one and then being done. I only have to give birth once and then we’ve got two children so that’s a bonus.

Kerry: Yeah, I think unless we win the lottery and Emily gets a surrogate. We always said two children would be nice, and they’ll be the same age.

Emily: People have said that if I go into labour, it could trigger Kerry to give birth prematurely.

Kerry: We could, if we want to, breastfeed each other’s babies, but it could trigger me, so not before I’ve given birth. I don’t know how my body is going to react to there being a baby outside of my body, while my body is preparing for a baby inside. It’s going to be interesting.

How do you envisage the newborn days?

Kerry: We’ve been renovating our house for a few months now so we’re excited about having some downtime, and it will be winter, so we’ll put the fire on and watch Netflix.

The bonus for us is that most people have their partner there for a couple of weeks and then they get left on their own, whereas we’ll be home together. It will be nice to be able to go out together.

Emily: We’ll see what happens. It depends on how the babies sleep…

Kerry: We’ll have to do shifts!

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