Larry David Quotes About Parenting, Divorce, And Baldness

Publish date: 2024-09-29

Through 8 seasons of narcissistic schmuckery on Curb Your Enthusiasm (and soon to be a ninth), Larry David has been a fairly good example of how not to be a person. But, that’s just the character Larry David. The real guy is not only the the co-creator of Seinfeld, but a Broadway playwright, humanitarian, and Prius driver. And even though he got divorced back in 2007, he still has 2 great kids (Cazzie and Romy) and things are pretty, pretty … pretty good. Here’s the collected wit and wisdom from Mr. David.

On The Fate Of The Pate

“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man — there’s your diamond in the rough. ”

On The Importance Of Being Single

“The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it’s the best of both worlds. There’s a lot to be said for it.”

On Having A Public Split

“Millions of people are married. I’ve never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!”

On Keeping The Romance Alive

“[My wife] thought that it would be nice to have sex with someone she liked. She wanted to try that. And I said it’s not a good idea. Because you never wanna have sex with people you like. You can’t have good sex with people you like. Doing those things. And then you’re supposed to talk to them?”

On One Leg At A Time

“Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn’t involve a woman. ”

On Hard-Earned Wisdom

“I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.”

On Being A Marathon Man

“I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.”

On Finalizing His Divorce

“Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!”

On Being A Chosen Person

“Religion doesn’t play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don’t think I’ve ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word ‘Jew’ or saying it myself. “

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